I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
