I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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