Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
