It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
