I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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