Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
