my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
