Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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