I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
