Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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