I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
