i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
