Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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