we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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