i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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