Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do herpes really smell.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
