So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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