it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
