She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
