maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
