ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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