Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
