Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
