she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
