I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
