Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
