I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
