new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
