I feel like I'm in dance class right now
People in love make me want to vomit
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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