the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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