Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
