All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
