so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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