He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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