I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
