oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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