i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
