he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
