I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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