Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
