why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
