Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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