We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
