I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
