All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
