i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
