It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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