Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Your tits are I can't wait for
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
