In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
