but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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